shrugged:

looking at zac efron makes me want to have tons of sex

plaidstockings:

I feel like the motto of 2013 was “wait what”

(Source: stilinstilinski, via perks-of-being-chinese)

lustire:

im not ignoring your snapchats, im just too ugly to reply at the moment

(via giggle)

heykarli:

My friends mom is 4’9 and her dad is 6’5. Whenever she is mad at him, she grabs a chair to yell in his face. Everytime that happens, he’s laughing too hard for her to stay mad. They say it’s the only way they’ve been married for so long.

(via snorlaxatives)

hi:

everyone stop fighting

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just stop it

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leave it to the cute little puppies

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(via chandra75)

trillow:

*on the phone with police after reporting a murder* no you hang up first

(via lachydoo)

Nice things to whisper when hugging someone

damonssalvatoree:

yogurtville:

-you smell different when you’re awake
-please help me (then smile as if nothing happened)
-soon
-you have lovely skin, I can’t wait to wear it
-your hair tastes like strawberries
-tonight….you.
-he knows, don’t go home.
-I always knew you would die in my arms
-every time I poop I think of you
-no one will ever believe you
-yessssssssssssss
-I killed mufasa
-I bet you didn’t feel me lick your ear
-mother told me it would be like this

-hail hydra

(via slippinbeauty)

dimma-dont:

when you accidently read a spoiler

image

(Source: dimma-dont, via lolsofunny)

wolfintestine:

sqr-knt:

Went out and bought a can of pineapple juice cuz Waka said it’d make my cum taste better

too bad your sock doesn’t have taste buds

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(Source: shredbundy, via lachydoo)